My Archu-pals are restless about David. The utter truth is they have been restless for quite some time. How can I blame them? Too many upheavals, they say. They describe me as relentless – what, still here, still plodding on? They are being polite when they say that. Or stubborn, they say, when they are being comparatively flattering. Pig-headed, mostly, when they are being truthful. My mirror calls me a Mule. My dictionary says: Stubborn as a Mule – determined not to change your decision or opinion even when it is wrong. Wrong?! O ye of little faith! We’ll have to see about that.
Move On, my archu-pals say. This young man will take his own sweet time to grow; he is still groping around and searching for answers to some truths which are probably never to be found. Besides, you yourself don’t really have that much time left, do you? Huh? Thanks, pals, I love you so much for pounding the ugly truth into me, even if I might say myself that it is already staring straight into my face. It’s only entertainment, they say. And he no longer entertains. I look inward. I don’t see him that way.
Move on to Ed Sheeran, they say. So talented. Yes, guys, he is. He may be ugly but he is ever so talented. Mais non! I exclaim with polite indignation. He is not ugly! His looks are just not comparable to those of my gorgeous missionary, that’s all. But who is, anyway?! That’s not the point, my friends. It’s my legs. They just won’t budge. Nor would my ears nor my heart. Mule.
Move on to Mraz then, they coax. Yes, guys, he is so classy, so pleasing to the eye. Great music. But, let the heavenly stars be my witness, my eyes have long been tortured. And spoiled. Blinded by the Light for too long. And yet, not long enough. They can no longer see outside or beyond that Light. They still seek that blinding light. Even when it chooses to hide in the dark shadows. Asking for trouble. Eyes with no brains.
But what do I see this week? I see the words: Moving Forward. Words of hope. They sound good and positive. But are they words of reality? I don’t know. Too much hope can sometimes lead to disappointments. I’ve been through all of it before. So have you. Much as I hail his coming of age and maturity to be his own version of an edgier man, I worry for my own probable overly optimistic anticipation. I need to be an introvert too.
Forwardness is pointing to so many different directions. Some most unfamiliar to me. Am I to be cheered by all of them? Or some? Which some? Have I lost my sense of Going Forward with him? Will he himself be cheered by his Going Forward? If he is really cheered, is he taking me with him? I am lost.
Choices are complicated. If only they can be made happily either way without your having to bang your head hard hard hard against the wall.
The writing on the wall for me, not necessarily negative, at the moment, is: Moving On? – No. Moving Forward? – Keeping fingers crossed. Mostly, I think I’m just – STUCK. 😥
Oh well, you guys, go create a massive Trend for him and remain hopeful. 🙂
He absolutely deserves it!