I am not sure if I should even consider writing this post. Because it will, more probably than not, make me sound rather silly. But then, I am comforted by the belief that I have lots of that kind of company out there amongst you guys 😉 , so that’s some form of consolation and moral supportiveness, If not, this post will hopefully just provide you guys with some giggles and amusing self-appraisal as fans.
David often makes me silly. I can recount many, many occasions during the past 5 years which, on looking back now, make me want to kick myself. But he makes me brilliant too. When I listen to him sing songs like Mary Did You Know, What Child Is This, and even Zero Gravity, I turn into one of the most brilliant Archies who walked the earth 😛 Such is the power of David Archuleta.
Is it a natural human tendency, or even a prerogative, for a fan to feel silly .. to say silly things .. think silly thoughts .. brought about by the emotions and butterflies? There have even been heated arguments and unnecessary name-calling amongst David-fans through the years – even now – while David himself is quietly doing a mission and has always been an epitome of calmness and all-things-nice.
I would describe myself as a David-chatterbox. I could carry on talking about him and analysing him and his work and actions to my archu-buds till the cows and sheep come home … till we get into heated debates … and even end up talking to ourselves blogging and posting stuff till long after everyone has left in a huff. Why talk so much? Why let our emotions fray? I don’t know … why does the earth rotate? It seems like David just has the ability to work up some sort of strong emotions in us. Do we get into a conflict-mode in the name of love in our hearts and butterflies in our bellies? Ironically, the moment we are flung mercilessly into his presence, we are struck dumb how ever chatterbox-ish we may be.
My own experience of David-silliness was created in my own mind out of an ego-boosting trip which I guess I needed from him during that period. It is time now for me to unload and exorcise those butterflies which have been fluttering in my belly for more than 4 years – just because he spoke 6 words to me – and for me to become sort of calmer and more sensible … or be less silly. From the recent Chile pics, David seems to have matured and grown up – I need to grow up too. Whether I will stay “grown-up” remains to be seen. 😉
At the Manila Megamall M&G it was. He smiled … and he stared – more like a glare actually – those eyes with sparks flying. My sparks were inside my head, burning and roasting my brain. I managed to gather my mouth and cheeks muscles together to form an upward curve to resemble a smile out of what I still had the presence of mind to remind myself as “politeness”. But I could hardly “meet eyes” with him, let alone stare back. My eyes kept on resting on the tip of the top of his right ear .. kept on avoiding his direct line of vision. It was bad enough having to face him .. did I have to allow him to swallow me up with those infamous eyes too?! Mercilessly, he offered me his hand to shake and, not realising the almost diabolical consequences he could be imposing on my already tattered fragility , said these 6 words to me – loud and clear – SEE YOU AT THE CONCERT TOMORROW.
6 precious gems dripping from that mouth which houses that Voice!! No doubtful hesitation … no horrid interferring punctuation … gems with his A Cappella voice – just for me – just pure sincerity from that beautiful heart to my ready-to-swallow-anything-and-everything heart. Why should he even care whether I go or not?! But he DID!!! See my point???
SIGH … I know I know … I confess … it is self-aggrandisement … self-elevation … self-boosting refusing to acknowledge my own fan-silliness … the silliness of a besotted fan. I felt as if I owned the archu-world alongside with him. Darn good for the ego. But Dang … so bad for survival!!
David has the power to make me silly. He too has the power to make me brilliant. As a fervent fan of David’s and a demanding one (who says a fan cannot be demanding?! 😛 ), I need David to be totally brilliant and make seriously brilliant badass music. On second thoughts, I think I’ll forget about growing up … I want him to continue rendering me silly as well as striking me brilliantly dead again and again because I know he can.
And that is not a silly thought. 🙂