“I have no idea why I’m doing this, but I know I need to be doing it for some reason.”
Someone said that.
I can’t for the world remember who.
Erm…..you are right ….. perhaps it was that dang David Whatchamacallit in some book he wrote!
…..Or perhaps I do know why I’m doing this. I’m suffering from exhaustion waiting for him! AND I NEED TO VENT!!!
1. He made me think that I would become a calm, patient person after having listened to Be Still My Soul repeat after repeat. But I am becoming a freakin’ ravin’ lunatic watching the slow motion of the calendar!
2. He makes me wait TWO years (ie. 365 days x 2 + probably weeks and weeks after his return – for him to swagger at the speed of a sloth to making a vlog or to recover his phone from her many sisters to tweet a message) – when I usually fly into a hair-tearing mode waiting for longer than 20 minutes for someone to turn up!
3. He fools me into believing that he is really, really an angel from above, come to save us from non-chalance and bad music. But, in truth, he has come to disrupt the peace and frustrate the poise and equilibrium of our lives ……then ABANDON us!!
4. He made me believe I would turn into blubber if I touched his hand, but he lied. When I did touch his hand, I sank into molten lava and scorched myself! …FOR LIFE!!!
5. He makes me crave for his pop and whatever albums when I was practically engaged to Bach!
6. He is still making me check out time after time at cd shops, browsing aimlessly, knowing full well that there is no new album from him!
7. He makes me think unfair and “pooh pooh” thoughts about other pop artistes! Justified perhaps 😛 But can’t I think for myself?! Why does he make me do it!!
8. He made me believe that I will love Crush for all eternity, but I hate it now because it makes me sob and cry in anguish!
9. He has made my tummy flabby and flaccid and getting flabbier and more flaccid by sitting and sitting by the computer, hoping against hope for news that he has decided to make a surprise early return, to save my body from becoming a total unsymmetrical mass!
10. He makes me pry into his personal life when I used to think that celebrity-chasing is oh-so-tacky!
11. He gave me the impression that he is smart. But in truth, he is a bit of a nutcase for not engaging good professional management!
12. He has instigated me to harbour thoughts of extreme physical violence, wanting to gouge out somebody’s eyeballs (preferably HIS!) – after the horrific Announcement!
He has made me query my own identity – am I a supposedly mature woman? Or am I an over-aged, over-spazzed teen!!??
D a n g ! !
Just make sure you don’t over-stay in Chile, Mister!
And All Will Be Forgiven!