Trace’s more lighthearted approach to the issue of how much should we expect from our idols?
SO YOU WANT TO BE A “PRIVILEGED FAN” ?
Let’s pretend that an unlikely situation arises and you are stuck in an elevator with David for several hours.
What a lucky/unlucky day for you!
Lucky – because you have been god-sent an opportunity to have a lengthy tete-a-tete with him and a chance to befriend him.
Unlucky – because you have fainted.
Let’s assume you do not pass out and you manage to carry on a coherent conversation, what would you choose to talk about?
Would you ply for information that is privy to him?
Would you attempt to get close to him with the intention of attaining a status of “special fan”…..”privileged fan”? Is there such a thing?
For me, I can comfortably maintain a calm exterior if afforded such an opportunity – so calm that I become tongue-tied and brain dead. The things which have been circling in my head for the past 3 1/2 years and want unravelled, will remain unsaid and unexpressed and will forever be buried in my heart. And that’s OK.
– Because, as a fan, I have no right to try to gain access to those details.
– Because I am a fan, not an inquisitor.
– Because David, like everyone else, is entitled to his privacy and personal space. It is important that we respect that.
– Because I do not want to cause David undue embarrassement and discomfort if he should deem that information, personal.
– Because I want to love and support him from a distance.
I only own him when he is onstage because that’s the time when he allows us to own him.
However. The only huge stumbling block I have lies with my dang alter-ego.
She gives me endless ridiculous problems. She holds David responsible for having turned her life upside down. She feels, rightly or wrongly, relevant or otherwise, like she has a “right” to know everything about him. She is incorrigibly curious about how he ticks and why she is ticking the way she is ticking because of him.
After having painstakingly and lovingly doing all the things she does as an archie, she secretly wishes to to share “a little deeper sumthin’ ” with him. She wants to pry into his innermost mind as to what he really really thinks about things like……the current half-past six singers….lousy management…..rude DJ’s…..the foetus….egoism….polygamy…..etc.
She wants to know about even silly things like what brand of toothpaste he uses…….which side of the bed he sleeps on and why…… what he looks like 1st thing in the morning…… whether he should date an older woman since he is afterall an old soul………whether she could gift him some pyjama trousers the next time she sees him…….. the list goes on and the demands get more and more ridiculous as she delves more and more into her fantasies of him. She wants “reachability” and “entitlement”.
Time and again, I have read her the riot act that she does NOT own David. That she is not entitled to knowing everything about him and gaining special access to him. He owes her nothing except to give her amazing music for as long as he wants.
He has already been keeping as close touch as possible with his fans on twitter, facebook, vlogs etc. What more should a fan want? Does a fan have a right to demand his time and attention as well? Do we own him simply because we love him?
Alas for David. My alter ego claims that she is only a simple-minded crazed-up fan who is unreasonable and irrational – not a rigid, saintly guru – therefore knows no better. And so her obstinate curiosity and violative demands persist and continue…..
Is she just one of the few – or many – ‘fanatics’ who harbours such greed?